The Cost of a Lie

3rd day of the 7th moon, 1162 HC

Mulsae and Damion are in a secluded part of the throne room trying to sneak in some breakfast without anyone bothering them. Damion's arms are always expected to be bound in public, so Mulsae is feeding him by hand.

The throne room is filled with all the people caged in the palace. They usually have some freedom to do whatever they want in the mornings as Zudaeshi sleeps in, but for this morning everyone was brought in to have a buffet breakfast with the Harmonarch. Apparently, she has a presentation prepared.

A commotion appears at the large double doors and Rhydros comes strolling in dragging a small human woman sniffling and crying behind him. He reaches the dais, throws the human forward and she collapses on her hands and knees, choking on sobs.

Rhydros then announces, "I present to you Garrick's human."

Damion freezes mid chew and Mulsae holds still with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. He carefully lowers them and turns to face the throne. He sees a human in a loose white shift with long dark hair. His breathing stops. Did I fail to protect Ellara?

"A human woman," Zudaeshi purrs.

The human looks up, and shock slams into Mulsae. This is some random woman. Rhydros must have grabbed someone at random just to please Zudaeshi.

Zudaeshi leans over and asks sweetly, "Are you Hanna Linwood?"

"Yes," the quivering small human replies.

Mulsae's shock turns to guilt in an instant. Hanna is real. Not a fabricated cover. Not some clever alias. A real name, with a real body, real fear, real consequence.

His breath catches like a hook in his throat. Fuck. His heart thunders against his ribs, and nausea tightens in his gut. Fuck, fuck, fuck! He thought he was helping. He thought he was shielding Ellara. But in doing so, he'd aimed Zudaeshi's blade, and it had landed on someone else's skin. A completely innocent person's skin.

His center slips. Everything inside him tilts. He balls his free hand into a fist, knuckles white, willing the room to stop spinning. There's a roaring in his ears, loud and sickening. You didn't know, he tells himself. You didn't know. But that doesn't matter. Not here. Not now.

He watches Hanna tremble beneath Zudaeshi's gaze. It hits him and steals his breath: I condemned her. It wasn't intentional. But it was ignorant of him. He meddled and now an innocent woman will suffer.

Zudaeshi leans back in her throne and crosses her legs, "So you are Garrick's human." Hanna's eyes wildly look around her, confused.

"Does Garrick love you?" Zudaeshi coos. Hanna breathes rapidly but doesn't answer. "Hanna, I asked you a question," Zudaeshi says impatiently, "Does Garrick love you?"

Hanna's jaw quivers as she opens it to speak, "I- I don't know... who is Garrick?"

Zudaeshi clucks her tongue and fingers the arm of her throne, "Humans are such pathetic liars." Hanna's body wracks with sobbing.

"Mulsae!" Zudaeshi calls.

Mulsae moves through the crowd with Damion following. He hands his plate to a servant as he passes by then emerges from the crowd. "Yes, Your Radiance?"

She looks at Hanna carefully, considering. "I want you to make her your pet and prepare her for presentation to Garrick."

Mulsae schools his face to not act surprised. His bird-like heart is dying in his chest. He takes a breath and replies, "As you wish, Your Radiance."

Zudaeshi's smile widens slowly and encompasses her entire face, "Good. That's good. Break her, Mulsae," she leans back in the throne and crosses her legs, "Make it obvious to Garrick she has suffered while in your hands."

Mulsae bows, "Yes, Your Radiance."

"Hanna," Zudaeshi coos, "Take a good look at this bare chested Windborne here," she gestures at Damion. Hanna looks up at him nervously. "This is Mulsae's pet. This is going to be you, Hanna. Soon. Very soon."

Hanna looks over Damion. Her gaze flicks to Mulsae. Then to Zudaeshi again. Her lip trembles. Urine leaks out, pooling around her knees.

Zudaeshi jerks her chin to Mulsae. He confidently strides up to Hanna, snatches her arm, and leads her stumbling out of the throne room. Damion follows, also trying to hide a look of guilt from his face.

The three of them march through the hallways with the sound of Hanna's sniffling echoing off the walls. They reach their bedroom and enter. Mulsae gently guides Hanna in front of the fire while Damion softly closes the door with his foot.

Mulsae carefully crouches while holding Hanna's hand, "Come sit here." Hanna slowly lowers herself to the floor. "Warm yourself in front of the fire. Just look at the fire and let it soothe your nerves, okay?" She looks up at him wide eyed but nods tentatively. She shifts her gaze to the fire.

Mulsae stands and paces away, running his hands through his hair and taking a deep shaking breath. He walks behind Damion and removes his arm bindings.

How the fuck am I going to handle this, Mulsae pushes to Damion's mind.

I don't know. I'm scared for her, Damion responds.

Damion looks around then pulls an extra blanket off the foot of the bed. I'm going to offer her a blanket and talk to her. Mulsae nods and leans against the foot of the bed.

Damion slowly approaches Hanna and sits down next to her. "I have a blanket here for you. Are you cold? Would you like me to wrap it around you?" Hanna looks up at him with utter terror and shivers.

"You're cold. I'm going to gently drape the blanket over your shoulders," he unfolds the blanket, leans over and places it over her shoulders and lets the front drape over her arms and pool in her lap. She promptly grabs the edges and pulls the blanket tight around her like a vice grip.

"I know everything is terrifying right now, and I know there is nothing I can say that will make things less scary," Damion says softly, "I'm sorry I can't take your fear away." She looks up at him and tears pool in her eyes.

"What Zudaeshi said, the Harmonarch, about breaking you is scary, I know. But Mulsae," he gestures to behind them, "isn't the man he used to be. He's not going to hurt you." Hanna blinks and her pooled tears fall.

"I'm Damion, by the way. I only play the part of Mulsae's pet. I'm really not. We've been managing living in this palace of horrors as equals." A faint furrow begins to wrinkle in Hanna's forehead.

"This is not an easy place to live," he looks up at Mulsae and then back to Hanna, "But Mulsae and I are going to be here to try to help you."

Mulsae pushes himself off the bed and slowly walks into the bathing chamber, then comes out with a cup of water. He sits down beside Damion, trying not to make Hanna feel boxed in, and offers the cup of water to her. She accepts it with trembling hands. A bit of the water spills out as she brings it to her lips.

"Hanna," Mulsae says softly, "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I can fix this. But I am going to promise you right now that I will always tell you the truth." Her wide blue eyes bore into Mulsae.

Mulsae takes a deep breath, "You're probably wondering why you were brought here." She nods slowly, carefully.

"The Harmonarch, Zudaeshi, is obsessed with a Sanctum Master named Garrick," Mulsae says, voice low. "Jealous. Possessive. Vindictive. He recently fell in love with a human woman."

He hesitates, then looks away. "That woman used your name as her alias." A beat. "Zudaeshi's spies uncovered her real name, but I... I erased it from the report. I thought I was protecting her." Hanna stares at him, uncertain.

"Hanna..." His voice cracks. "I didn't know. I didn't know a Hanna Linwood actually existed." His hand twitches helplessly in his lap. "I thought it was a fake name. I never thought it would point to a real person." His eyes finally meet hers. They are devastated and hollow.

"I didn't mean for this to happen to you. I swear, I didn't know. I am so, so sorry." Hanna's wide eyes rapidly scan Mulsae's face.

"I can never make it up to you. And I never will expect your forgiveness," he puts a hand on Damion's shoulder, "I do everything I can to protect Damion, and I vow that I will also do everything I can to protect you," his face softens and takes on a pleading glow, "Do you understand?" Hanna nods slowly.

"The only thing I ask in return is that you don't tell anyone that I am being kind to you." Hanna looks at him puzzled. "If anyone finds out I am being kind, they will take you, punish Damion and me, and give you to someone worse." Hanna's eyes pool with tears again.

"I'm sorry to ask you to lie. But hopefully we can put on a good enough show that no one will ask questions." Her eyes go wide again, and tears fall. A grimace blended with surprise crosses her face.

"We're going to leave you alone now. You have some options. You can stay here and look at the fire. You can soak in a bath. Or you can curl up in the bed and go to sleep. Do any of those options sound good to you?"

Hanna looks down at her urine soaked legs then back up at Mulsae. She glances at Damion, then back to Mulsae. "A bath."

Mulsae nods and stands, "Follow me," he walks into the bathing chamber. Hanna tentatively stands and follows, gripping the blanket around her shoulders like a life line.

Mulsae points out the towels and calls out to Damion to bring one of his long tunics for Hanna to change into. He shows her how the tub works and Damion hangs a clean long tunic on a hook. Mulsae and Damion give Hanna small smiles as they depart, and Hanna just continues to look at them wide eyed.

They close the door to the bathing chamber and a few moments later they hear the soft click of the door being locked.

Mulsae and Damion sit in the two chairs on either side of the small table low and stare at each other in disbelief. Damion puts his hand palm up on the table and Mulsae grasps it. They stare at each other but there is nothing to say. They both grieve for Hanna. They both want the best for her. They're both going to try their best for her.

Mulsae closes his eyes and breathes slowly to settle his nerves. He keeps open attention to Hanna's mind to ensure she's safe. She's frightened. She feels a little safer locked in the bathing chamber alone. She's looking forward to sitting in the hot water and trying to think.

She steps into the hot water and deeply appreciates the muscle penetrating warmth. She sinks down under the surface and the heat soothes her facial muscles. She thinks if she can just inhale she can drown and die and be free from this horror.

Mulsae jumps up fast as lightning and kicks down the door. He hauls her head out of the water before she can even have another thought.

She thrashes against him, "Let me die!" she sobs.

"Hanna!"

"Just let me die! My entire family is dead. Just let me die with them!" Damion appears, panicked and confused, in the doorway.

Mulsae skims the horrors of last night flashing through Hanna's mind. She woke to screams and dove under the bed. A soldier seized her ankle and dragged her out through the cottage, past her mother, her father, her brothers. All dead.

Outside, the village was the same. Neighbors she'd danced with. Elders she'd read to. Children she'd taught to twirl in their skirts. All of them, lifeless. Everyone she lived for. Dead.

Mulsae pulls Hanna into an embrace, "I'm so sorry."

Hanna collapses and goes limp in his arms, "Please," she whispers, "Let me die."

"I can't," he whispers back. He honestly can't. If he let her die, Zudaeshi would be furious with him and it would threaten everything he's worked for. "I can't let you die," he whispers hoarsely.

Mulsae helps her pliant body out of the bath, and Damion retreats to give her some privacy. Mulsae dries off Hanna with shaking hands he forces to be still. He has to hold it together. For her. He carefully helps her into the long black tunic, guides her into the main room, pulls back the covers and helps her into the bed. He tucks her in and tells her to try to rest and sleep.

Mulsae falls back into the chair. Damion offers his hand again and he accepts.

She just tried to drown herself. What the fuck are we going to do?

I wish I knew, Mulsae, I wish I knew.

They look at each other and grieve in silence.

=*=

Mulsae and Damion are laying on the floor between the fire and the bed with their hands clasped together. They each have a pillow from the bed, and the blanket Hanna abandoned in the bathing chamber this morning is draped across them.

Mulsae is keeping an open connection to Hanna's mind. She's in a deep dreamless sleep at the moment. Her sleep has been fitful and marked with sobbing, but she appreciates how warm and comfortable the bed is.

Good afternoon, he skims off Damion's mind. He turns to face Damion and sees he's already staring right back.

Afternoon, he replies.

*What's the plan for the rest of today?

We won't have any obligations today, as She'll expect me to be working on Hanna. Which, is what we'll do. We'll just somehow help her get through the rest of the day.*

Damion nods and moves to stare at the ceiling, Just one day at a time.

Mulsae does the same, Just one day at a time.

Hanna becomes conscious. She's afraid to open her eyes. She's afraid her nightmare is true. It is.

Mulsae gets up, approaches her side of the bed and crouches down next to her. She squeezes her eyes tightly closed when she senses his presence. He gently sifts through her thoughts.

She's depressed. She doesn't want to move. She wants her mother. She just wants to be held by her mother, but her mother is dead. Her thoughts loop in circles.

Damion also had a problem with depression in the early days. Mulsae would try to turn it into anger towards him, and let Damion experience flying because it was so special to him. What can he do for Hanna to keep her from being depressed?

He gently pokes through her mind. She loves dancing. She loved the village's evening tradition of songs and movement. She loves the freedom it brings, the way long, flowy skirts follow her like wind. He can't give her music. He can't give her a skirt that sways.

He takes a long breath in and out, disguising the helpless sigh beneath it. He continues softly, easing through her memories. She liked braiding hair for the village children. Mulsae smirks at the thought of her braiding Damion's long, luxurious hair.

He gently searches further. She liked reading aloud. She treasures the memory of her mother's voice, gentle and steady. She lives in those echoes now, reading to the elderly and infirm in the village. She loved the stories, loved sharing them.

That, at least, he can give her. A story. A voice. And she doesn't need to do anything to enjoy it.

He stands and goes to the door, I'm going to get something. Keep an eye on her. Damion nods.

Mulsae walks through the various hallways and reaches the old abandoned library. It's still abandoned. He enters and sees piles upon piles of books scattered haphazardly around the floor. The books he had chosen for his former office. At least they didn't burn them. He swallows. Unlike the tapestry.

He shoves away his painful memories and kneels on the floor searching through the collection of his old books. He finds the pile containing the category he's looking for, then finds the book. He pulls it out. A book of short stories from the human lands. He clutches it like a savior bound in leather and heads back to their room.

He quietly enters and shuts the door. He holds up the book for Damion to see and he looks back puzzled. Mulsae grins.

He takes a stool and picks it up, so it doesn't loudly scrape along the floor, and soundlessly places it next to Hanna's side of the bed. He sits, runs a finger through the table of contents, turns to a page and begins to read out loud.

It's the story of a boy who, every day, crosses a frozen lake to leave a pebble beneath a snow-covered tree. He doesn't know why he does it, only that something compels him to keep going, even when the ice groans beneath his feet.

One day, after leaving the pebble, the tree is gone. In its place stands a girl who says she's been trapped in a dream for a hundred winters, and the boy's daily gifts, those small quiet acts, were what pulled her back to the waking world. The boy no longer needs to bring pebbles. He just comes to sit beside her. She's awake now. That's enough.

Mulsae looks over at Hanna and sees she's looking at him. She doesn't look so grief-stricken. Her eyes are no longer pink. She's just looking at him calmly, cocooned in the bed's blankets.

"It's not a grand story," Mulsae explains, "There's no battle, no heroic quest. It's instead a story about quiet persistence. About doing something gentle and good even when you don't understand the point. And about how those small acts can still save someone."

Hanna scooches up to a position that is half-sitting up against the headboard. She speaks with a voice hoarse from sobs and disuse, "Why did you read to me?"

Mulsae gives a sad smile, "You're depressed. I was hoping to give you something that would help you feel better."

"Why do you care how I feel?"

"Because I've seen what happens when someone sinks too deep. And I don't want that for you."

"Why not just hurt me to compel me to move?"

"I don't do things like that," he swallows thickly, then continues softly, "Not anymore."

"What do you mean by 'not anymore'?"

Mulsae takes a deep breath and sighs as he looks over at Damion who still lies on the floor, "I have a reputation for breaking people because I've done it before. I took Damion because I wanted to prove I could break someone utterly. And I did. But surviving that... changed both of us," he looks back at Hanna and sees the terror has returned, "But I deeply regret what I did. And I promise you I won't do it to you." Hanna's jaw quivers as her teeth chatter in fear.

He looks down at Hanna in sympathy, "The Harmonarch will expect me to present you. She'll expect you to perform." Hanna's eyes widen. "I know that is incredibly scary to even think of. But we won't even have to do it today. Not even tomorrow. The Harmonarch will probably not want a demonstration for another week. So that should give you time to adjust and come to terms with things." Hanna's eyes start to rim with silver.

"Today you can rest. You can stay curled up in bed all day." Hanna nods her head and snuggles more deeply into her cocoon of blankets.

"Do you want me to read to you more?"

Hanna nods carefully, "It's... soothing."

"That's exactly what I want for you. Let's start from the beginning of the book." Mulsae gives her a soft warm smile. Hanna blinks and the forming tears fall, but more do not grow.