Ruin by Night

14th day of the 7th moon, 1162 HC

Zudaeshi is removing Mulsae's cock cage so he can 'enjoy' Hanna at last. After the day they just had, he certainly is desperate for it. The three of them spent the whole day being intimate. And of course he got no release, with his cock throbbing in the cage. Damion got his release. She wanted to watch and see what it was like. Mulsae watched longingly.

Gods, he wants to fuck her so badly. But he's also ashamed of himself. He shouldn't feel this way. It's wrong.

The cage drops to the floor, "Go, Mulsae. Enjoy your pet at last," Zudaeshi purrs.

He turns to face Hanna stark naked with his cock quickly growing to attention. She's kneeling there and his for the taking. It is so unbelievably hot. He just wants to stride over to her and shove his cock so far down her throat that she can't breath and watch her struggle helplessly.

His stomach sinks. That is so wrong on so many levels.

He walks over to her and picks up the leash. He gently tugs the leash up so she'll rise to her feet. He gets close and his cock deliciously glides across her soft skin as he pulls her towards him, chest to chest. They've already done this today. They practiced. He leans down and kisses up her shoulder, her neck, her jaw, and then captures her lips.

His cock aches to bend her over and fuck her senseless. His stomach curdles. Why do I still have these desires?

"You're being so gentle, Mulsae," Zudaeshi coos.

"I'm savoring, Your Radiance," he murmurs into Hanna's lips.

"Well," she snaps, "It's fucking boring."

He stills. He doesn't know what to do. His mind is violently pushing and pulling with his longing to fuck her raw against his desperation to rid himself of such desires. He falls back to the safety of saying, "What would you like me to do?" and instantly regrets it. Now the control is out of his hands. Fuck. I'm so fucking stupid.

"I want you to fuck that mouth of hers. Ruin her. Make her regret ever having even laid eyes on Garrick." The irony being that poor Hanna has never laid eyes on Garrick.

Mulsae pushes down on Hanna's shoulder and she sinks to her knees. She and Damion practiced this today, so she knows what to do. She opens her mouth unbidden and he enters it. She wraps her lips and tongue around him. And gods, he's needed this touch so desperately.

Hanna works her mouth along his cock. "Looks like she knows what she's doing. Garrick probably enjoyed this," she sneers. "Suffocate her. I'm positive he never did that to her."

Mulsae is simultaneously elated and grief-stricken. He looks down into her eyes and places his hands in her hair. She looks up at him with her big blue eyes and it is so fucking hot. He just wants to—

And without planning he grips her hair and shoves himself down her throat. She bucks and pushes against him, which just makes him want more. But he releases and she rears back and falls to her elbows panting. They hadn't been able to do that while practicing today. She wasn't able to get past her gag reflex. He looks into her eyes and sees terror. Exactly what he likes. He grips himself and strokes. He wants to cum all over that terrified face.

He stops and pulls his hand to his side. No. No no no. Don't think that.

"Com'on, Mulsae," Zudaeshi demands, "Really fuck that mouth."

He pulls on the leash and she rises back to her knees. She's trembling. He snakes his fingers through her hair and grips her head. She looks up at him, then down at his cock. She sighs heavily and opens her mouth. So obedient, his pet. He has got her to bend to his will.

He thrusts himself into her mouth again and again. She struggles and squeals. Those wonderful squealing sounds. He shoves her nose into his abdomen and relishes her throat flexing around him and her body thrashing to get away.

He finally releases her and she falls back to her elbows once again. He looks down at her. She is so small. Cowering. And all his to do what he wants. And he wants to fuck that cunt at last.

He pulls on her leash to drag her to the bed. She scrambles after him. He pulls her up and pushes her face first into the bed. Zudaeshi grins happily.

He grabs her ass with both hands to look at that... dry cunt. Fuck. He sobers and stills. He can't fuck her like this. He can't do this to her.

He thinks quickly then falls to his knees and licks her before Zudaeshi orders him to do something else. He licks and prods her with his tongue. But it's clear she isn't into it like she was earlier today. No one wants to be fucked under conditions like this.

He inserts a finger and thrusts. She might not be into it, but he can make sure her body adequately prepares her. He thrusts and hooks his finger to rub along her g-spot. He skims off her mind that it doesn't feel good like earlier today. Now it just feels overwhelming. He straightens his finger and continues to focus on only generating lubrication and stretching her.

"Mulsae," Zudaeshi groans, "You're boring. Get on with it. I want to see you pound that ass until her skin turns raw."

He stills. Then slowly withdraws his fingers and rises. He spits on his hand and covers his cock with saliva. He runs the tip of his cock through her folds. He breathes deeply. He just wants to slam right in. Resist resist resist. Don't do what I did to her mouth. He pushes himself in. His eyes roll to the back of his head. It's so warm. And wet. And tight.

He hears Hanna whimper and snaps back to attention. Shit. He's all the way in. He went in too far too fast because he lost himself. Concentrate concentrate concentrate! Don't get lost! He thrusts gently and shallowly.

"Damion," she coos, "Come service your Harmonarch."

Mulsae's heart sinks. Of course She wants all of them involved. But Damion's told him before that he doesn't mind licking Her, so he's going to put that worry out of his mind at the moment and just focus on Hanna.

Hanna has her face buried in the blankets and her hands gripped tight.

Are you okay? He asks her.

It doesn't feel good like earlier. It feels weird. And overwhelming.

You're not in the right mind set. How you feel emotionally has a big impact on how it feels physically, Damion adds in while buried under Zudaeshi's skirt.

"Faster, Mulsae, faster," Zudaeshi pants. He picks up the pace. Hanna's knuckles turn white from their grip.

"Pull her towards you with the leash," she directs. He wraps the leash around his hand and pulls her back, forcing her back to arch and her head to tilt towards him.

"Tell her how much you've wanted her."

"I've been waiting for this since the moment the Harmonarch gave you to me to break." It's the truth.

"Hanna, tell him how much you love his cock."

"I love your cock," she murmurs.

"Say it like you mean it!" she snaps.

"I love your cock!"

Mulsae buries his face in her shoulder. Gods, I love it when they want me. When they want everything I can throw at them. He quickens his pace. She bounces off his hips with each thrust.

"Faster," Zudaeshi orders. He speeds up. "Harder." He snaps his hips punishingly. Hanna's face crumples as she tries to endure.

"Make her cum." He snakes his free hand in front of her and between her legs. He slicks up his fingers then circles her sensitive nub. Her lips part and she starts panting. He circles, rubs, and rolls her nub while her body twists and writhes in his grip.

"Oh gods," Hanna gasps, "Oh gods." She meets his thrusts and then her body suddenly convulses and she moans loudly. A second moan joins her, Zudaeshi is also writhing under Damion's attention.

Mulsae slows down and lowers Hanna so she can rest her head on the bed again. She breathes deeply and closes her eyes.

Zudaeshi pushes Damion away and moves away from the bed. "Mulsae, lay on your back." He moves to comply. Hanna doesn't move. Zudaeshi rounds Damion and unbuckles his arm restraints. Fuck. Now what?

"Hanna, ride him." She straightens and looks at the three around her. She swallows and crawls onto the bed and straddles Mulsae. "Ride him. Put him in you." She nods slowly and lowers herself on him. She doesn't grimace. She's pretty wet and loose by now.

"Damion, straddle Mulsae behind Hanna." A cold sweat bursts across Mulsae's skin. No. We didn't prepare her for this. We didn't even talk about ass penetration, let alone double penetration. Fuck!

"Fuck her ass, Damion."

Hanna's eyes widen, "What?!" A curling smile grows on Zudaeshi's mouth.

"I'm going to have you ruined," Zudaeshi says, "Make even Garrick regret laying eyes on you."

Hanna's lip trembles. Damion puts his hands on her hips and she flinches. It's just me, I'm here, Damion coos.

Is it going to hurt?

I don't know. "Can I have some oil?" Damion asks, trying to be as polite and reverent as possible.

"No." Zudaeshi says curtly.

Yes... It will hurt...

Hanna's breath hitches. I'm scared.

I'll be as careful as I can, okay?

I trust you.

"Get on with it, Damion," Zudaeshi says as she rounds the bed behind them. He starts with massaging her hole with his finger. Zudaeshi crawls on the bed. She lost her dress at some point. She gets herself comfortable in the pillows with her legs spread and her hand between them.

"None of that prep shit. Just shove your cock in there. Make her scream in pain."

Damion stills. Mulsae puts his hands on Hanna's thighs and rubs soothing circles with his thumbs. Hanna's eyes are rimmed in silver and her lip quivers.

Damion's throat bobs as he swallows. He positions his cock and presses in slowly. Hanna grimaces. Zudaeshi rubs herself. Mulsae helplessly looks into Hanna's face and caresses her thighs. There is nothing he can do to help.

"Faster, Damion, faster." He goes faster and Hanna whimpers. "Snap your hips. Go all the way." Damion stills.

"If you don't do it, I'm going to fuck her with my nails and then make you fuck the bloody hole I leave behind." Hanna turns white. Damion thrusts sharply and pulls her hips into his. Hanna yells out in pain. Zudaeshi rubs furiously between her legs.

"Fuck her. Brutally." Damion thrusts shallowly but quickly. Hanna's face is crumpled, tears fall from her eyes, and she whines nearly constantly.

"I. said. brutal." Damion repositions himself and then slams into Hanna repeatedly. She whimpers and cries.

Mulsae loves those tears. He thrusts up into her without even thinking. She wriggles above him from Damion's thrusting. Her tears drop to his chest. His lips part. She's like a rag doll, and he and Damion are taking her apart. He thrusts harder. She whimpers and whines. Oh gods, this is so hot. This is like a dream come true.

He thrusts harder, deeper. He grabs her head and looks into those red rimmed eyes. Gods yes, gods yes. It feels amazing. His core is warm and the pressure is building and building. Then the pleasure slams into him like a tsunami. He thrusts up and stills with a groan as he feels his seed pump deep inside her. He got to claim that. He got to be the first to ever lay claim to her.

He pants and looks into her eyes. Her red rimmed crying eyes. His stomach turns. What did he just do? He lets go of her head.

He hears Zudaeshi's gasping moans next to him. Then she sinks down to curl up to Mulsae's side and gaze up at Hanna's wriggling form.

"You liked that, didn't you, Mulsae dear?" she coos. Mulsae stills. He liked it too much.

Damion slows down and stops. Hanna pants heavily. "Damion, you haven't had yours yet. Keep going until you cum." Hanna groans and buries her face into Mulsae's chest. She grabs his arms in a vice grip when Damion starts thrusting again.

Mulsae looks up at Damion. His eyes are closed and his face furrowed in concentration. Damion is a good man. He isn't finding sick pleasure in this. He has to fantasize being away from here. Unlike Mulsae who is enjoying this so much he is having trouble holding back. Damion finally stills with a groan.

"Stand next to the bed, Hanna."

Damion slowly extracts himself and Hanna grimaces. She raises herself up on trembling legs and crawls off the bed.

"Legs apart." She obeys. "We're going to watch their seed slowly drip out of you." Hanna's face turns red.

"Come, Damion. Here." She pats the bed between she and Mulsae. She guides him to lay his head down and then proceeds to caress his hair. Mulsae watches Hanna. Their seed is sliding out and dripping to the floor.

"This is your use, Hanna, forever more," Zudaeshi purrs, "To serve and be fucked." A tear falls down Hanna's cheek.

=*=

They carefully guide Hanna into their room. "Let's get you into the tub, okay?" Damion gently offers. She nods slowly.

Mulsae goes to the bed. She doesn't want to be anywhere near me after that. Maybe I'll sleep in the bathing chamber tonight.

"Mulsae," Hanna's soft voice calls from the bathing chamber, "Stay with me?"

His eyes widen. She wants me there? He tentatively peaks into the room. Damion is working on filling the tub.

"You don't want me far away from you?"

"No, I want you here."

He takes a small step inside. "Are you sure?"

She walks up to him and takes his hand. "You two have been providing me comfort since I came here. I still see you as a source of comfort. That hasn't changed."

Mulsae's eyes line in silver. He can't believe what he is hearing. He was so cruel to her. How could she feel comfortable around him ever again?

She pulls on his hand to guide him to the tub. She drops her dress, as it is designed to be done quickly, and steps into the steaming tub. She sinks down and lays back.

She eyes the two of them, "Can you wash me? Like we do for Mulsae? I want to feel like I'm in safe hands."

"Of course," Damion says gently.

"You..." Mulsae swallows, "Want me to touch you?"

"Please? I want to feel held and cared for."

He looks down at his hands. They were just so cruel to her. And now she wants them to comfort her. The very same hands. He takes a deep unsteady breath and kneels down by her head. She always massages his scalp after a night with Zudaeshi.

Gently, he presses his fingers into her hair. Her eyes flutter shut. She exhales, long and slow. She's content.

=*=

The three snuggle together in bed. Hanna is in the middle with Damion wrapped around her back and she and Mulsae are facing each other holding hands. She said it makes her feel protected, and she fell quickly asleep.

Mulsae doesn't sleep. He watches her lashes flutter with dreams, the way her breath escapes soft and steady. Her hand remains tucked inside his. Willingly. Gently.

He's still trying to understand it. These are the same hands that hurt her. The same hands that obey Zudaeshi. That curl into fists when the guilt becomes too much. And yet she has placed her trust in them. In him.

He should pull away. Let go. Stop pretending he's safe. But he doesn't. Instead, he studies her hand in his, the way it fits. She's so fragile, yet so strong.

He doesn't understand how she still sees someone worth trusting. Worth touching. And that terrifies him. Because a part of him likes her softness and her trust. He likes this moment they're sharing together. The warmth of Damion's breath on her neck. The quiet.

He lets himself imagine, just for a breath, what it would be like if this were real. If he'd met her in another life. If he hadn't been hollowed out and reshaped into a blade. If she'd smiled at him and he could smile back without flinching. It's a beautiful dream. So beautiful it hurts. He presses their joined hands to his forehead, eyes stinging.

He knows what's coming. Zudaeshi's orders. His obedience. The tightrope he's walking, straining to protect Hanna without destroying her. He wonders how long he can keep balancing. He wonders if trying is enough. And still, he continues to hold her hand.

Damion's thoughts brush against his mind, I can hear that you're thinking all the way over here.

Mulsae looks up. Damion's head rests in the crook of Hanna's shoulder, his eyes open and watching.

I failed her tonight, Mulsae replies.

How so?

I slipped up. I let my urges flow free. I let myself indulge.

You were put in a situation designed to break your control, Damion thinks gently. That you even noticed, that you stopped yourself from becoming cruel, is a sign of progress.

But how do I get better?

You're already doing it. Remember when you first started hurting me? It took almost three years before you could even say the word 'sorry.' Damion's voice in his mind is calm, steady. And now, you're feeling guilt in the moment. You see what you've done and want to change it right away. That's growth. If you keep trying, you'll keep getting better.

Mulsae closes his eyes. But what about Hanna? I hurt her today.

And you helped her tonight. Damion's thought is firm but kind. You didn't make her comfort you. You didn't dump your guilt on her. You focused on her healing. That's what matters.

I'm too ashamed to say out loud what I did... I'm too ashamed to even apologize.

That shame means your core is changing, Damion replies. Shame isn't a failure. It's the beginning of transformation. Just keep going.

Hanna snuggles closer. She brings Mulsae's hand up and rests her cheek on it.

=*=

16th day of the 7th moon, 1162 HC

Hanna lays back with her eyes closed in the steaming tub. Mulsae is massaging her scalp while Damion is massaging her hand and arm. They're taking care of her after three nights in a row of Zudaeshi trying to get Mulsae and Damion to 'ruin' her. Hanna wants them to help her calm down after the ordeal and reacquaint her body with something soothing and grounding.

"I understand your situation now," she says into the peaceful silence. She opens her eyes and looks at Damion next to her, and tilts her head to look at Mulsae behind her. She looks back ahead and twirls a finger in the water.

"I'm sorry that you do," Mulsae says quietly.

"Forty-nine years," she says.

"Yeah," Damion breathes out.

"I don't think I can do it," she whispers, "I can't keep going through this." Mulsae and Damion look at each other. They have no idea how to reply. Damion instead leans forward and wordlessly presses his forehead to her shoulder.

"Is there a way to escape?" she asks quietly.

Mulsae looks away. He could. He could save this light in the darkness. Nori could easily whisk her away to Lirae, and Rivenar would look out for her. He looks at the back of Damion head. But if he lost her, Damion would suffer greatly. Zudaeshi keeps threatening to cut off his arms.

"Any of our freedom would cause great harm to many other people," Mulsae says somberly. "We're here because otherwise the people of the Water Sanctum would greatly suffer. And if I 'lost' you in some way, well, I told you the story of the last time I disappointed her. Zibri died."

A tear rolls down her cheek. "I see," she swallows, "We endure suffering so others do not."

"Yes," he says lowly.

"Can you tell me about the Water Sanctum?" She asks tenderly. Mulsae blinks. He's been doing everything he can to not think about Lirae for decades.

"... so I can picture them while it is happening." She fidgets with the water, "Maybe it will give me strength to endure." Mulsae tenses. Of all the memories he's buried, those are the ones that ache the most.

Mulsae takes a slow breath. He can't tell her about Drenvaar. All that scheming, the cold calculations, the way even kindness there is a chess move. No one would suffer for them. And he can't tell her about Lirae. Not the truth. Not yet. But maybe... maybe he can tell her about the people in the small village that hides the entrance to Lirae.

He lowers his voice, as if remembering pulls him into a quieter world. "There's a waterfall that folds into itself, like silk being stirred in a bowl. There's always mist in the air, and sunlight refracts through it like threads of glass. A small village is nestled in the canyon at the base of the waterfall." Damion lifts his head and looks up at him.

"You can see little children running barefoot along the riverbank, trying to catch light with their hands." Hanna's breath softens. Damion's fingers still cradle hers, but the water stirs less now.

"There's a boy there who makes flutes out of driftwood. He carves them with a knife he shouldn't be allowed to have, and sells them for sweet buns. His sister always ruins the first few notes by laughing into the reeds." Mulsae smiles, just barely.

"And every dusk, the women gather by the riverbend to braid each other's hair with white flower petals and whisper which husband said something foolish." He closes his eyes. "You can smell warm rice. Braised ginger. Salt."

He opens his eyes again. "These are the ones we suffer for. The ones who laugh too loud. Who run through fog barefoot. Who grow up believing that the world is a place worth trusting."

Hanna swallows. Her lips tremble before she speaks. "They sound... so real." Her voice is hoarse, barely louder than the water's ripple. "Not like stories told to make pain feel noble. Just... real people. Living."

"They are," Mulsae says.

She stares down at the surface, watching it shift around her fingertips. "Do they know?" she asks. "Do they know what you endure?"

Mulsae is quiet for a long moment. Then he says, "They know where I am. But I don't know what they think of it. I don't know if they resent me, or mourn me, or think I've betrayed them by surviving this way."

That silences them all.

Then Hanna says, "I don't want to be noble. I don't want to be a good person if it means this." Her voice cracks, but she doesn't cry. "But if I can't be free, I want to be... useful. Even if it's just to help someone else keep their light."

She turns her head toward Mulsae. "When I can't bear it, will you remind me of the flutes? And the barefoot children?" Mulsae reaches for her hand and clasps it between both of his. Mulsae and Damion each hold one of her hands.

"Every time," he promises.

A few moments pass, filled only by the water's hush. Then Damion leans in and gently presses a kiss to her temple. "And when you don't want to be useful," he murmurs, "we'll still hold you. You don't have to earn rest."

Hanna lets out a long, trembling breath. "Okay," she whispers. "That helps."

Mulsae doesn't let go of her hand. Damion brushes her damp hair from her forehead. The bathwater laps against the sides. The candlelight flickers. And in that hush, without knowing what tomorrow will bring, they give her something to hold on to tonight.

=*=

18th day of the 7th moon, 1162 HC

Hanna is caressing Mulsae's hair while Damion reads out loud. He doesn't understand how she can be affectionate with him. Not after what happened again tonight. Not after what he did. At Zudaeshi's command, yes. But still...

He closes his eyes and thinks through the day. It was relatively peaceful. She woke them with her stirring. She asked for affection. She asked for more. She asked for a release. They can't deny her, not after what Zudaeshi makes them do to her. They'll do anything she asks of them. Anything.

Their lazy and intimate morning caused them to miss breakfast, but they headed out together for lunch. There, Hanna was so kind. A servant spilled something and got his sleeve messy. The other person closest to him sneered and called him clumsy. But Hanna comforted him. Helped him. And then with a parting smile told the servant, "Don't let the sauce win."

She made kindness look like something ordinary. Like something that could live here. It can't, though. If she had done that when Zudaeshi was present... it could have been dangerous. It still might be. And yet, Mulsae hadn't stopped her. Hadn't warned her. He just watched, aching, as she glowed a little too brightly in a place that punishes light.

She hums when playing with her hair. She spent the afternoon in front of the mirror braiding and rebraiding her hair again and again, experimenting with different styles. She hummed a tune they didn't know. It was simple and a little wistful. She didn't seem to notice she was doing it.

And for a while, nothing happened. No one spoke. There was just her voice humming as he watched her fingers and the easy way she moved through the ritual of self-care. As if she belongs here. As if she hadn't spent the previous four nights surviving things that should have broken her. As if the night wasn't going to bring more horror.

And more horror it brought. He's so ashamed that he slips in the moment. He tries not to, but then he gets overpowered with desire when he sees her trembling tear soaked form. He's trying not to lose himself, but each night it gets increasingly more difficult as Zudaeshi brings his deepest darkest fantasies to life and makes him enact them.

Hopefully she'll get bored soon and stop wanting to watch Hanna be wrecked and instead go back to using him. That's better for everyone.

He and Damion took care of her afterwards. Washed her. Massaged her. And now she wants to play with his hair while listening to Damion read. They'll do anything for her. Anything.

Even though all he can think is: She shouldn't want to touch me at all.